How to Be Your Authentic Self
In the fast-paced modern world, we are often swept up by external standards, unconsciously imitating others and suppressing our true selves, gradually forgetting what “authenticity” should truly look like. The Taoist principles of “following nature” and “cherishing authenticity” serve as a key that can unlock the door to our authentic selves. Let us now explore methods for embracing our true selves through Taoist wisdom.
1. Follow Nature: Stay True to Your Heart, Embrace Your Innate Nature
Taoism teaches that “Man follows Earth, Earth follows Heaven, Heaven follows the Tao, and the Tao follows Nature.” Here, “Nature” refers not only to the cosmic order governing all things but also to humanity’s most authentic inner nature. To be your true self, first learn to align with this innate nature, never betraying your heart’s genuine desires.
Consider the “useless tree” described by Zhuangzi: precisely because it failed to meet society’s standards of “usefulness,” it escaped being cut down and grew into a towering giant. In reality, many pursue finance majors despite loving art to meet family expectations, or force themselves into noisy gatherings to fit in when they crave solitude. Such choices against our nature only lead to exhaustion and gradual loss of self. Taoism teaches us not to strive to meet external expectations. If quiet contemplation is your nature, you needn’t force yourself to be a social butterfly; if hands-on creation is your passion, you needn’t envy others’ “stable jobs.” Only by aligning with your true self can you find ease and steadiness in life.
2. Embrace Imperfection: Let Go of Perfectionism, Embrace Authenticity
The Taoist classic, the Tao Te Ching, states: The most accomplished seem incomplete, yet their usefulness never fails.“ This teaches us that being authentic requires embracing our ”imperfections.”
In life, we often hold ourselves to unrealistic “perfection standards”: hoping to be outgoing, exceptionally capable, adept at navigating social dynamics, and flawless at work. Yet reality is that everyone has their own shortcomings—some may be reticent with words yet excel at deep thinking; others may lack meticulousness but brim with creativity. Taoism holds that “imperfection” is the natural state of things, much like the moon’s waxing and waning or the seasons’ alternating cold and heat. Only by accepting our imperfections—without self-denial for flaws or harsh self-criticism for mistakes—can we find inner peace in our authentic state. As Zhuangzi said, “Knowing what cannot be helped, accept it as fate.” Embracing imperfection is the beginning of reconciliation with oneself.
3. Reduce Selfishness and Desire: Break Free from External Shackles, Uphold Inner Choices
Daoism advocates “reducing selfishness and desire,” not to abandon all desires, but to diminish unnecessary, externally induced greed, thereby preserving inner purity. In today’s materialistic world, many are hijacked by “others’ success”: seeing someone buy a house or car sparks anxious pursuit; hearing of a salary doubling makes one doubt their own choices. These desire-driven actions gradually steer us off our authentic life path.
The Dao De Jing’s warning, “The five colors blind the eye; the five tones deafen the ear,” reminds us that excessive external temptations cloud our inner judgment. Being true to oneself requires learning to filter desires, distinguishing between “what I want” and “what others want me to want.” If stability matters most to you, there’s no need to chase the “get-rich-quick startup” trend. If you cherish your ordinary job, don’t let others’ opinions shake your resolve. By reducing dependence on external validation and staying true to your inner choices, you’ll discover your unique value in authentic living.
The “authenticity” in Taoist thought is never about deliberately flaunting uniqueness, but rather an inner state of ease and sincerity. Following one’s nature, embracing imperfections, and staying true to one’s heart—these seemingly simple principles demand constant practice in daily life. May we all draw strength from Taoist wisdom to live without pandering or pretense, becoming our most authentic selves.
